(thoughts while running five-and-a-half miles on a beautiful Sunday morning)
halfway down my driveway: Wonder if I should go pee one more time? Naw.
.2 miles: It's cold out here. I should've worn a jacket.
.75 miles: Dang, I have to pee.
1 mile: I am so slow! I'm the slowest runner in the world! Waaaaaaah!
1.5 miles: There's that abandoned dairy farm. Wonder what lives in that barn? Axe murderers? Aliens?? Lovecraftian monsters??? Oh yeah, plot bunnies. Damn them.
1.75 miles: Uh-oh. The trailer with the Scary People living in it. What if their dog barks and wakes them up, and they blame ME for it, and they are still so halfway drunk on homemade rot-gut that they get up out of bed in their underwear, grab the shotgun and KILL ME??? How long would I lie there in the ditch until someone found me??? Eep...
2 miles: **checks watch** Oh now THAT'S more like it! Go me!
2.75 miles: Okay, when did all these people move here? There is no place to pee!
3.5 miles: Dang, it's hot out here. Maybe I should take off my shirt.
4 miles: Hey, that kid in the dune buggy just honked at me! Oh yeah. I still got it.
4.25 miles: **struggling to run on sloped, lumpy shoulder for the thirty-thousandth time after being forced off road by traffic** Where the heck are all these people going??? Stupid motorized vehicles.
5 miles: OMG WHY IS THIS HILL SO STEEP??? I am going to die! Wonder if anyone would stop? If they did, how would they know who to call? I don't even have any I.D. on me! CRAP, I'M GOING TO DIE HALF A MILE FROM HOME AND NO ONE WILL KNOW WHO I AM AND MY FAMILY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT BECAME OF ME!!!
5.1 miles: **crests hill** I love running downhill, yay!!
5.5 miles: Woo-hoo, I made it! I rock so effin' hard! I am the greatest athlete in the world!
back at the house: **runs really fast to the bathroom** Next time, NO COFFEE before a run!
Whenever I go running, I learn something. Either about myself, the world in general, or just about one of my characters. Today, I learned that you never know how many people live in an area until you are running on the roads there and looking for a nice private place to pee where no one can see. Around here? There is evidently no such thing.
So what's your favorite way to relax, zone out and sink deep into your own head? What makes it special to you? Share!