Sunday, December 6, 2009

Emotion and relationships

The holidays are upon us. I have commenced with the holiday eating, much to my waistline's dismay, but man, it's hard to resist that cheese tray or the cookie exchange. Oh well, I'll worry about it come January 1st.

Holiday time usually means I get to see friends who are in town to visit relatives. I had lunch last week with an ex-boyfriend who now lives in San Francisco and prefers another type of relationship. The kind with a penis. (Oh, it's fine, we "dated" in sixth grade. Meaning, we held hands a lot and kissed a couple of times. I was probably the last female he ever touched that way, and I'm totally okay with that.) So anyway, it had been a few years since we'd caught up with each other and I asked how his love life was.

"Still living with my ex," he mused. When I paused with my salad fork halfway to my mouth and my eyebrow raised, he waved me off. "Come on, Tor. You know we don't have the same relationship with our exes that you do."

To which I replied, "Actually, no, I didn't know that." I then proceeded to whip out a pen and my trusty notepad and wrote it down. "Gimme some details on this," I demanded. He obliged, with the stipulation that if I used the information in a book, I'd credit him accordingly. I assured him I would.

I received several text messages from him this week. One or two were comments on books he'd read from my publisher. (Why yes, I did turn him on to M/M erotic romance. I expect a nice Christmas present from him as a thank you.) And one or two texts were just random bits of conversation he'd had with his ex-boyfriend during the week. "Get this!" he said. "Eddie said [insert relationship issues here] and I told him [insert more relationship issues here] and I really can't wait until our adjustable mortgage term ends so I can get out of here."

I replied, "That's two years away."

Him: "I know. Guess I'll keep texting you with gems like the last one."

Me: "Cool. I'll keep writing."

Nothing like having a little validation on what I write. Gay men DO have problems in their relationships, there IS strong emotion involved, and they ARE different than heterosexual relationships. 'Nuff said.

Oh, and he was very free with the sex pointers, too. But that's another post.

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Keira Andrews said...

I have some real-life experiences from one of my gay friends that I'm saving for a future book. He once met a guy for a hook-up and realized he'd already done the guy's partner. The new guy said, "You come highly recommended." Ha!

The problem is, I find there's not much call for a gay character like my friend as a hero because readers will find him unlikable because he doesn't fit into the HEA box.

Tory Temple said...

HEE, I had the opposite thought with my friend. The whole time he was talking about love and relationships and emotion, I thought, "Readers would love you." He'll end up in a book, I'm sure of it.

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