Sick days, for me, normally consist of keeping my lazy butt in bed, swigging lemon/honey tea and surfing the net for porn. The wonders of wireless internet and a laptop.
Today, however, is one of those Casa De Buchanan days. No porn…Scooby Doo. The six year old (known as Princess, She Who Rules the World) has a fever. The Cat, Mr. Rose (this is the foreshortened version of his name which at last count had six words) is sneezing and the dog, Ponchito, is merely taking advantage of the three other creatures all in the same bed. At least I still have the tea.
Mr. Rose and Ponchito, btw, are the epitome for the strangeness which is my life. It is odd to have a cat and a dog who will come within 50’ of each other, much less pile on a bed. Both are neutered males. They have, however, for a great long had a “relationship” in the anything but biblical sense. Or the completely biblical sense…if you get my drift.
Ponchito swings both ways, a fact that doesn’t seem to bother Mr. Rose any more than the whole interspecies aspect of their unconventional partnership. Ponchito has a regular side thing going for the Lady Dog…Amazons are apparently his preference in the female of his own species. Lady Dog is three of him stacked feet to back.
Mr. Rose possesses his own brand of fetish. He’s a plushy freak. We often discover Princess’s stuffed animals in a disheveled state, usually still in the ass up-nose down position. Sometimes there’s two, three or even four side by side. If you hide them, Mr. Rose will track down his “favorites” (a bear and two cat plushies) although when they’re unavailable he might just latch onto the pony or a stuffed dog. Trust me, this is not the sight you want confronting you when you’re bleary eyed at 4:30am and hunting up the first cup of Joe.
Maybe I should go back to sleep. My mind gets too weird when I’m sick.