Okay, I know some folks might be thinkin' "Myc's takin' this Spongebob obsession a bit too far," but hear me out!
Now, I love me some SB. All right, so that's not really a news flash. However, as an observant SB fan(atic), I have noticed some glaring signs that everyone's favorite (okay, MY favorite) porous kitchen utensil (as Plankton put it once) is, indeed, 'family'.
1) He has a snail pet. (In Bikini Bottom, snails are cats; worms are dogs. Yes, I do have a life. Why do you ask?)
2) He once said 'I like Squidward' when Patrick pointed out that he said 'Bye, Squidward' twice.
3) He freaked out at the notion of girls seeing him naked.
4) He and his best friend Patrick Star share a VERY close relationship.
5) When Mr. Krabs once told him he looks like a girl (while trying to recover a hat), Spongebob replied: "Am I a pretty girl?"
6) The only 'date' he's been on (without Patrick) was with a Krabby patty.
7) He and Patrick raised a baby clam. Together.
So, you see? It's clear as crystal: Spongebob, my idol among all idols, is queer as a football bat. Is it any wonder why I love him???