Why is GI Joe So HAWT?

I mean seriously? 'Cause we're talking about the boy's doll (hey I don't need to call it an 'action figure' to make myself feel butch) that's been around since before I was born. How did this guy…
Become the iconc status of boyhood in America? Or get to this guy? Who basically looks the same except for my fancy shibari rope work.

There wasn't any of this Cobra crap when I played with them. Killing Ken and capturing my sister's Barbies. There was the jungle guy and the legionnaire. And Joe never had any stupid "don't ask, don't tell" policy – if you get my drift. Ken was a wuss. Joe got laid, a lot by everyone...sometimes even Ken.

And how did they get to this?

Blowing up shit on the big screen in the newest live action incarnation. http://www.gijoemovie.com/

And I'm a geek…I want to see it. Of course I want to see the scenes they'll never air. You know…Duke ripping the mask off the Cobra guy, frenching him hard and them humping it off together. I can dream though.