Friday, December 31, 2010

The Wild Ride

I missed my post two weeks ago (sorry for that, real life was extremely busy and I only remembered it the next day), but I can’t possibly miss this one. Last post of the year 2010.

And what a year it’s been. Lots of my writer friends had terrible years. People laid off, illnesses, houses got flooded, and the wretched economy in the US, UK and most of Europe doesn’t make things any easier.

Against that, though, many bright spots for readers and writers: ebook sales are up. We learned the shocking/exciting number that Amazon sold more ebooks than hardcovers (granted, who buys hardcovers anyway?). The Kindle 3 launched and shifted a huge amount of units all year, and most at Christmas. Every day, hundreds and thousands of readers join the e-reading part of the population.

And there’s more fun on the horizon.There’s the iPad (I’m foregoing one until it becomes a writing machine – proper software to do some heavy lifting in terms of getting words out), but that’s only one of many tablets. Five years from now, we’ll have a lot more interesting shiny gadgets on which to read and write. Part of why I want to grow really, really old? I want to see what technology comes out and goes mainstream. I’m a gadget hound. I love technology.

Going over my own last year’s resolutions, I got 80% of the important stuff (I didn’t go to the gym as much as I’d planned, though). I finally bought my house. I moved in and got all the bits and pieces into place. I left a job that bored me to tears and got a great job that paid a little more and taught me a huge amount of valuable skills. As the year turns, I’m leaving that job and go work for an investment bank for a lot more moolah.

Creatively speaking, 2010 was awesome. Last year at this time, I had one story out, “Deliverance” in “Forbidden Love”. Now it’s twelve. Yes. Eleven more. I had almost one release per month (I slacked off in December, I admit). Five of those are novellas, four are short stories, two are full-sized novels. Two more novels slated for 2011 (“Scorpion” with Dreamspinner Press and “Father of all Things” with Carina Press).

In 2010, I was dragged, almost kicking and screaming, onto Facebook. I blogged. I got this guest blogging gig here, and I just started another guest blogging gig at Savvy Authors.

More importantly, I met people. Loads and loads of people. Now, I can get people fatigue. I am, believe it or not, an introvert. I’m probably the most extroverted introvert you’ll ever meet, but it was great to meet so many readers (Amora and Marcie and Tina and Britta and Karen and Arzu and Kate and all the others over at Goodreads), new authors (life’s good when there’s talent out there like Rachel Haimowitz, A M Tuomala and Rhianon Etzweiler), and I’ve been reading and reviewing and generally found my rhythm. I write more and better than ever before in my life – unless I’m blocked 6-7 weeks, which happens, but it’s no big drama.

I’ve gathered the strength to look at all my failed novels (aka, I now have the courage to open that big drawer with all the HORROR inside). The financial thriller trainwreck. The menage that isn’t quite an espionage story. I feel I can tackle all that now and fix it.

As the year turns, I’m nervous about starting work at the bank (writer meets financial industry. I think it might be hilarious - or painful).

I’m working on the edits of “Break and Enter”, which I co-wrote in a couple days (find an excerpt here).

I’m working on two novels at the same time. Still the WWII novel and the sequel to “Scorpion”. I’m heading off in a few minutes to have breakfast with my partner at a very nice, non-chain cafe that recently opened in my city.

When my partner asked what I wanted to do for New Year, I said I am completely happy to write all day, then pause at midnight, get a vodka orange, stand at the window that looks out over the park (or street), watch the fireworks, toast to the new year, and then sit back down to write.

As to 2011, I just expect more of the same, only better.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The countdown to the countdown...

Wow, only two days left of the year 2010. Where did the time go? January 1st, 2011 will not only mark the start of a new year, but depending on some mathematicians, a new decade. (Some argue zero years are actually the final year of the previous decade, not the start of a new one.) I've made the usual resolutions: eat healthier, exercise more, and keep writing. What are your goals for the coming year?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Holiday Romance

As the holidays wind down, revisit Hanukkah with Eight Nights:

Lucas McKenzie figures spending the holidays with his annoying roommate's family is better than being alone on campus. The last thing he expects is to lust over Sam's brother -- or for Nate to actually want him back.

They hide their attraction during Hanukkah celebrations, but behind closed doors, Lucas and Nate can't keep their hands (or mouths) off each other. Nate's only looking for a bit of holiday fun, and amazing sex with a hot virgin definitely fits the bill.

Yet as the candles burn, Nate and Lucas begin to realize eight nights will never be enough.

Hope everyone has enjoyed the holiday season! Wishing you all a very happy 2011.

Monday, December 27, 2010

From the cutting room floor...

I thought I would share a deleted scene with you guys. This was supposed to be the opening prologue, but it was a little too info-dumpy. This is unedited, since it never made it that far, so please forgive any boo-boos. Otherwise...Enjoy!

Deleted prologue from Chicken Ranch: Hunger

Declan Mayo shivered in the dimming light of evening. Although it was warm, he felt chilled to the bone. Huddling against the unyielding back of a park bench, his mind spun with the implications of what it meant to be homeless.

The day had started out much like every other had since he'd graduated high school the previous June. He'd gotten up, and taken a shower. After breakfast, he dragged his tired ass outside to mow the lawn so his father wouldn't shit a brick when he came home from work. All the while, with the scorching July sun beating down on his shoulders and the self-propelled lawn mower vibrating under his palms, Declan made plans for the future. In three weeks, he would finally leave for college and he couldn't wait. The fear of a single misstep around his old man, and suffering the subsequent consequences, was beginning to wear on him.

His father hadn't always been such a hard ass. Declan had more good memories than bad about his childhood. However, following the death of Declan's mom the year before, Abe Mayo had grown cold and distant. More often than not, he was drunk or well on his way to intoxicated.

For Declan, it like living with a stranger. He walked on eggshells, waiting for his father to blow up in response to any one of many perceived wrongs that had never bothered the man before. Bidding his time and dreaming of the freedom he would have at college was the only thing that kept Declan's mouth shut and his demeanor respectful. Since he was depending on his father to pay his tuition, Declan knew better than to piss him off.

All that came to a head when his father came home from work and riffled through Declan's things in search of a fresh set of batteries for the remote control. Declan came inside to find his father sitting in the recliner facing the door with a beer in one hand and a handful of Declan's dirty magazines in the other.

The screaming match that followed caused their nearest neighbors to call the police. A cruiser pulled up just as Declan was leaving. His cheek stung with the evidence of his father's disapproval. With his father's accusations ringing in his ears, Declan slipped off the property and walked toward town. He didn't know where he was going or what he would do, but he couldn't stay home. His father had made his feelings on homosexuality quite clear.

Declan clutched to the backpack containing everything he owned. A blast of wind ruffled his hair and sent a shiver down his spine. His gaze darted around the abandoned park, seeking answers he wasn't likely to find in the curve of a solid oak tree or the sway of a deserted playground. Shadows closed in on him; the rapidly dwindling light made them appear larger and menacing.

Thunder rumbled, followed by a bright flash of light across the inky night sky. Fat beads of rain tumbled from above, splattering Declan with tear drops as clammy as the ones spilling down his cheeks.

What am I supposed to do now?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Joe and Kabe's Christmas

So, I wrote this little drabble last year and thought I'd post it for you all this Christmas.

Someday I should learn to shut my fucking mouth. It’s almost Christmas and, dude, Joe’s place just seems so sad without a tree. So, I’d been bugging him about getting one.

With Joe sometimes you have to push him to get him moving. But I have to push without pushing too much. ‘Cause, like, if he digs his heels in, the subject is done. So the other day I was bugging him again without being too obvious.

We’re up early…since I’d spent the night and Joe hates it when I sleep in. So I was standing in front of the big window drinking my coffee and staring out at the snow that fell during the night. I kinda turned around, looked over my shoulder at him. “A tree would look great right here.”

That thick country drawl hit me. “What do I need a tree for, Kabe?” He mumbled over his oatmeal. Glared at me across the room. “I ain’t got nothing to put under it.”

Holy shit, no fucking presents? I didn’t say that out loud, ‘cause then he’d have gotten pissed. “Doesn’t your family exchange gifts?”

“Naw, most cain’t hardly afford to.” He shrugged like it didn’t mean anything. “They got kids, they rightly spend the money on them.”

“You don’t do anything with your family?”

“Cards.” Joe pushed back from the table and crossed his arms over that big chest of his. “If my folks were ‘round, if I weren’t working, I’d go over there on Christmas Day.”

“Go to church with them, huh?”

He looked at me weird, “Not unless’n Christmas fell on a Sunday.” After he scraped the last bit out of his bowl, Joe added. “My momma usually get’s me a shirt or something.”

I wandered back to the kitchen. “That’s depressing.” As I passed the table I got his dishes too. “Really, depressing.” I mumbled while I washed his bowl and my mug. I figured at that point I ought to just drop the subject.

“It ain’t but what it is.” He shrugged as he got ready to head out to the station.

And that’s how it got left. Until yesterday that is. I’m at the ranch, in bed with half a dozen blankets on ‘cause it’s fucking cold up here. Woke up to someone pounding on my bedroom door. When I checked the clock it said four in the morning. I was about ready to yell something about if the house wasn’t on fire when T called out. “Kabe,” T cracked the door open and leaned in as I sat up, “Joe’s here. Says you got somewhere to be today.”

“Better dress warm.” Joe added from somewhere down the hall.

Anybody else, I’d have told them to go fuck themselves. Not Joe. I bitched, but I got up and dressed. Came out carrying my boots and caught one of those sights. Joe has no clue how goddamn hot he is. Big country boy in tight blue jeans, thermal undershirt and plaid shirt tucked in and belted. His buzz cut just gives him a stern air. I liked it. Almost wished we were at his place so I could show him how much I liked it.

So he hauls me out and hauls me up the mountain. When I’d asked him where we were going, I got, “If’n you’re gonna make me do a tree then I might as well do it right.”

Now, it snows up here. Like three, four feet deep in some places. And we’re slogging through the snow, our breath freezing in mist clouds around us. Joe’s carrying this big old ax across his shoulders and I’m hauling rope. Looked like Paul Bunyan, or something, in his old style field coat and broken in cowboy hat.

I’ve never cut down a Christmas tree before. To me, getting a tree means drive over to the lot, pick out nice one, strap it to the top of your car and drive home. No. We cut the damn thing down. With a fucking ax. Do you know how hard it is without a chain saw? But you can’t carry a decent sized one on a five mile hike. I worked up a sweat like you wouldn’t believe. Then we tied ropes around the base and drug it all the way back to his truck. He didn’t even get on me for swearing on the way back.

“Well, it does look right fine there.” He’d admitted when we got it all set up. Not a big tree, but nice. There wasn’t much but some lights we picked up at the local hardware store and a few ornaments Nadia brought over. She was in the kitchen popping some corn so we could make a garland. As long as no one made me spray paint pinecones, I could deal with that bit of country.

“So.” He wrapped his big hand around the back of my neck. “There gonna be something under it, come Christmas?”

“Sure.” I leaned into him. God, it’s like snuggling with a cuddly brick wall. “What do you want Santa to bring you?” I mean, I’d gotten him something already…naughty bought on-line. Big old leather paddle that I figured he’d enjoy. Well, I’d got it for myself too. That’s what Christmas was about: sharing the fun.

Joe snorted then moved close and rubbed his dick up against my ass as he whispered. “If I gotta tell you, you’re dumb as a stump.”

I am certainly not dumb.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Holidays!

I am finally getting into the holiday spirit! About time, too, since tonight is Winter Solstice. The hubs and I got a little tree on Sunday and put lights and a few ornaments (that never got put away last year, d'oh) on it. The last two ordered gifts arrived on Monday and got wrapped; and I need to go get a gift card to my friend's fave bookstore. Then gifties will be officially done. It goes quicker when you're not buying much and you have a small family. This doesn't mean it's going to be a quiet week, though. I have to bake for the Solstice party tonight, and then I need to start putting together the dishes I'm bringing to Christmas Eve (at the in-laws) and Christmas Day (with the fam). And I need to remember to feed my friends kitties all week. And while all this is going on, I'm finishing up the revisions for a novel I'm resubmitting to Carina Press. Busy, busy! Still, none of this is onerous stuff. It's all good and fun, and that makes all the difference in the world! ... But I'm still looking forward to our four-night vacation to the snow in January. That decompression time is invaluable!

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Santa, Baby!

Another Monday has come and it's just before Christmas! Even as this post is publishing, I'm in the woods, in a hunting cabin on a river enjoying some much needed time away with my family. I'm hoping all goes well, that it's not too cold (remember I'm in FL), that we catch some fish (though I hate eating it), and just relax with a couple of books that I've been wanting to read and just haven't had the time to. Did I mention there's no cell phone reception, no wifi, and not even a tv. *gasp* But never fret...I'm hoping the great scenery will inspire me so my trusty laptop in tagging along. ^-^

I hope these pictures add some inspiration to your life and holiday season.

I've got a couple more decorative men on my blog:

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The 12 Days of Smutfest!

It's a rainy Sunday here in SoCal. This is actually perfect because A. I'm not at work, and B. I had foot surgery this week and I have no choice but to lay around anyway and keep my foot elevated. Therefore, I bring you smut!

Torquere Press is having a 12 Days of Smutfest Sale! And not only that, each day there are authors who are posting snippets of their books depending on the theme of the day. So far they've had BDSM, menage, vampires, shapeshifters, cowboys, uniforms.... you do not want to miss this, trust me. I posted on cowboys day and uniforms day. That is a surprise to no one, I'm sure. Go check it out and buy yourself something nice!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Phaze Books Accepting Submissions of GLBT Romance for 2011

Passing this along to any interested writers of M/M.

We at Phaze Books, home of exceptional erotic romance, hope our friends in the US have enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday. We are looking forward to many more holidays to come, and offering our readers the best in erotic short and novel-length fiction. Presently we are accepting more GLBT romance for our summer and fall release calendar in 2011. While we are known for top M/M romance by bestselling authors like GA Hauser, Jade Falconer, and Jack Greene, we especially would like to see more F/F romance, as we are seeing a growing interest in this genre.

Now in our sixth year of providing quality erotic romance and women's erotica to discerning readers, Phaze Books is working to build our presence at Mid-Atlantic Pride events. In the past, our authors have attended Roanoke Pride, the Gay and Lesbian Book Festival in New York City, and Saints and Sinners in New Orleans. Our books have been shelved in GLBT bookstores around the US, and our editors have sat on GLBT panels at Authors After Dark.

We invite authors of gay and lesbian erotic romance and erotica to submit works of 15K words and higher for inclusion in our growing catalog. We want characters who provoke the reader and each other, romance and conflict that turn pages, and explicit sex that forces readers to wear oven mitts while holding their e-readers!

We definitely welcome sub-genres, too! In 2011 we will release our first steampunk M/M anthology, and we are definitely interested in more of this genre. We'd also love to see more historical, BDSM, same-sex menage, futuristic and shape-shifters...even interracial! Take your HEA couple on a wild ride and show us your best work.

The standard no-nos apply (no incest, pedophilia, positive rape, bodily waste fetishes) and interested authors are invited to visit our guidelines at for formatting details.

When you're ready, submit your cover letter, completed novel, and synopsis/marketing history to Thank you!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Available Now: Sagittarius Blues by Katrina Strauss

It's "Not Quite Christmas" with Katrina Strauss!
Hot holiday romance available now from Loose Id!

With a birthday near Christmas, Ryan’s learned to compromise. He loves a straight friend who won’t reciprocate his feelings, and holds a boring job to afford college. At the end of the week, he vents his frustrations through his webcast Alone Time with Ryan. He’s careful not to name names - particularly since each webisode ends with a mock masturbation session.

Greg seeks a fresh start in a new home, but wasn't counting on the holidays being lonely. When gorgeous, young Ryan shows up on Greg’s doorstep, it's a warm ray of light on a cold winter’s day. Greg's attracted, and tempted, but as youth director at the local recreation center, he must conduct his private life carefully. Seducing a college student seven years his junior isn’t the wisest choice, no matter how hot Greg's fantasies are growing by the day - or night.

When Ryan's ode to December birthdays goes viral, his show becomes an overnight sensation, but with exposure comes consequence, and Ryan’s Sagittarian wits won’t get him out of this one. When he turns to Greg in a moment of need, both men must face the consequence of their passion, making for one steamy winter.

A "Not Quite Christmas" story from Loose Id!
Read an excerpt and buy the e-book at:

Monday, December 13, 2010

Reckless Passion is now available in print!

reckless-passion-2x3.jpgReckless Passion

ISBN: 978-1453893067

Book III in the Reckless series

Now available at Createspace & Amazon

createspace.jpg or amazon.jpg

Beau Bradbury has it all. He’s good looking, owns a lucrative business, and has an endless supply of hunks vying for his attention. His skinny, uptight personal assistant shouldn’t rate a bleep on his radar. Nevertheless, there’s just something about Adam that Beau can’t resist.

One night of drunken passion leads to nearly a year of secret trysts during office hours. Adam keeps his private life confidential, while Beau pretends to want nothing more than a good time. It’s a good arrangement, until a simple phone call ruins the status quo and makes Beau green with envy.

Frustrated that Adam might be seeing someone else, Beau tries to put his attraction to the younger man behind him. However, all that changes with the introduction of Adam’s son. Instantly smitten with the sweet little boy, Beau is all the more driven to claim Adam for his own. All he has to do is convince his wary lover to open his heart and trust that there’s more to Beau than his playboy persona suggests.

Amazon is now banning select erotica books

A discussion thread on Amazon’s Kindle Community forum notes that Amazon has begun removing some previously-published books or stories from its store, and from the Kindle archives. Readers who have previously downloaded them to their Kindles can keep them there, but cannot re-download them (and will be refunded the price of purchase assuming Amazon can still find the purchase record).

The story whose removal sparked the discussion was an erotica title called Wicked Lovely by author Jess C. Scott. The tale dealt with incest, and involved a love scene between a 17- and an 18-year-old. However, Amazon would not tell Scott specifically what caused the removal of her novel. The only response she has received, after repeatedly trying to contact Amazon for more information, is a form letter.


In addition to Jess Scott, Selena Kitt and Esmerelda Green have also had books with an incest theme recently banned from the site. All of them, incidentally, high in the rankings and in visibility. Selena even reports a print book missing, a title which she published through Amazon-owned Createspace.

To be perfectly honest, I'm now waiting to see how long it takes Amazon to yank down a few of my stories. I'm sure those of you reading this know exactly which stories I'm referring to. Frankly, I'm just wondering what's next. Will all erotica books be removed or just though published through small press? I'm sure they won't touch the mainstream erotica. *rolls eyes*

You can read more by clicking HERE and HERE.

Or if you'd like to help spread the word, file a complaint, or request a refund for one of the books that have been yanked with no explanation from your Kindle archive, here's a little pertinent information to help you achieve your task.

You can post on Amazon's board about it here (as long as they don't delete the thread):\

You can tweet about it using this tag: #amazoncensors

Utilize whatever you can - Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Jeff's Bezos direct address (head of Amazon)

Jeff Bezos, Inc.
1200 12th Ave, Suite 1200
Seattle, WA 98122

Executive Customer Relations:

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tenth Book Party

Yay! My tenth book is out. And here it is, all shiny! Not Knowing Jack

I'd tell you about it, but the blurb and the excerpt are better at that than I am in a rambling blog post. It's an angst-fest with hot sex and an HEA, what more could you ask for.

So, I suck at this celebration thing. I couldn't even get this blog up in time because my netbook is having a nervous breakdown and trying to get me to have one in sympathy. I thought of doing some kind of cool contest, but I suck at those because I have no organizational skills. Over at jessewave's blog on Friday, she plans to have a review and I'll be giving away a copy of Not Knowing Jack but that's because she'll be organizing it, thank heavens.

The only thing I can do that I know some of you like is to write stories. So to thank you all for making it possible for me to say things like, "Yay, look at my tenth book release" I've put up another chapter of my WIP which is under contract and a smidge away from turned in. Chapter 2 of Bad Company

And now, I'm going to go finish number eleven.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

BBC Sherlock

Has anyone else watched the new Sherlock TV series? There's only three eps. (There need to be more! And according to the BBC, there will be, and they should know.) I guess the BBC aired them about six months ago, and then they hit PBS here in the States last month or so. LOVE THEM! Love how all the classic subtext is now maintext, and yet they still don't give you a definitive are they/aren't they answer. Very clever, that. I mean, honestly, Holmes and Watson are so married in this new version. Am I right? You know I am. And yet... Anywho, if you haven't checked it out, what the hell are you waiting for? The hubby and I watched them online. The first is the best, IMO. The first meeting between Holmes and Watson is spot on to the original meeting. The second ep lags rather a lot, but then the third brings it home... Almost. Go watch them. You'll see what I mean. My brain is churning out ideas of how to follow up on that third ep, but I'd rather Stephen Moffat did it for me. So much less work that way. ;-)

Monday, December 6, 2010

The men of Bond

Syfy showed a Bond marathon after Thanksgiving.  I couldn’t resist watching as many as I could and it got me thinking of all the different men who played Bond. *sigh*

Sean Connery – orginal *7 films*

George Lazenby ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service") *1 film*

Roger Moore *7 films (got too old)*

Timothy Dalton *2 films*

Pierce Brosnan *4 films*

Daniel Craig  (1st blond) *2 films so far*

Pierce is my fav(All suave and just plan hot!), while Daniel runs a very close second because of his darker, more edgy persona. Though I’ve never read any of the books, I gather it’s the way the original Bond books were.

Which is your favorite Bond man?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hey hey, it seems that missing a blog day here and there is catching. Tis the season for busy authors, I suppose. Sorry I wasn't here a couple of weeks ago!

There's been a recent resurgence in the Queer as Folk fandom over on Livejournal. QaF(US) is ten years old this month! Man, I sure wrote a lot of fanfiction in those days. There's a meme going around over there that I decided to participate in. Well, mostly participate, since pretending I'll be able to complete a 30-day meme is ridiculous. In any case, I answered the first question today.

QaF 30 Day Meme

Day 1 - How did you come to Queer as Folk and the fandom?

Apetslife kept telling me she thought I'd love Queer as Folk. I was writing a little slash for the BtVS/Angel fandom at the time and she kept IMg me. "Did you watch it yet? Rent it. Have you rented it? I think you should watch it. Go and rent it." So, since Pet is very persistent and also ruthless with IM bombardment, I picked up the first season. As soon as I saw this:


I watched, I cried, I cheered, I loved. Then I read some fanfic - maybe DeAnna Zankich's? - and I thought, "I can write that."

So I did. (Urk, please excuse all awkward POV changes and OOC moments. I got better.)

Any other Queer as Folk fans out there?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Win "Transit" and/or "First Blood"

Okay, 'tis the season, and I've been remarkable remiss in my "duty" to "promote" my books. It's not that I don't like promoting (but if I ever send you an email with nothing but "I'm great, NOW BUY MY BOOK" - just shoot me), it's that I've been busy getting a new job and getting the magazine to print. Don't you just hate it when real life gets in the way of being an author?

So. Giveaways. Amora/Amara over at her blog sponsors a giveaway of "Transit". I'm sponsoring a second copy, so there's the chance to win two. Just read the excerpt and answer the question.

Here's some more info on "Transit".


Next one on the list. I'm giving away HARD COPIES (yes, actual paper/print books) of "First Blood".

I got five copies, nobody needs that many, so I'll sign them, wrap them in Christmassy paper and off they go. I ship globally, even though that might end up costing an arm and a leg, but hey, it's Christmas and I don't believe in being cheap. So all readers from Ulan Batar to the remote villages of Canada are more than welcome to enter.

Enter here.

If you're not a member of Goodreads, you can still post there, but I'll need an email address. After all, I'll have to get in touch to get your real world address so I can post the book.

Contest ends MONDAY.

That's it from me this time. See you in two weeks. :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Young filmmaker takes on DADT

Some of you are aware of Naomi Davis and her efforts to produce a film about the military's DADT policy. And those of you who aren't should be. Whether you'd like an update, or want to know more about Naomi's project and how you can help, check out this new interview with her at San Diego Gay and Lesbian News:

The official homepage for DADT The Film can be found here:

And if you'd like to pledge funds to help get the film off the ground, go here:

Best of luck to you, Naomi!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

New Release: No Man's Land!

No Man’s Land
by Zoe Nichols

It’s been two months since Asher’s boyfriend, Derek, lost his bar to a fire and Derek only seems to be slipping further away into a private hell. Lost and watching his boyfriend fade away, Asher fights helplessness while Dean tries to keep them all from falling apart.

The threesome has been sliding south since Derek slipped a promise ring on Asher’s finger, drawing a line in the sand no one can miss. Tension erupts, and Asher and Derek are left to fit the pieces back together, scared that they no longer fit without Dean. Guilt-ridden, Asher and Derek fight like hell, pushing each other to the breaking point. Can they find a way to keep love from sliding into something like hate?

Find out today!


"You're so damn blind, I could stab you," Derek muttered, and the bitterness beneath the words shocked me stupid.

"What?" I could feel myself gaping at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He shot forward, startling me into a backward run, but his hands closed around my arms, almost hard enough to hurt, and jerked me to a stop. "You idiot, it was never just about my bar." He shook me gently, despite his fierce grasp. "It's about you. It's always been about you."

I stared. I could hear Dean in my head, on a cold winter night forever ago, saying much the same. But I fought anyway. "You're confusing me. None of this is about me. You're the one who said you weren't ready to open another bar."

Derek snorted, dropping my arms. "Because I'm scared shitless that it'll happen again. I almost lost you. You, not my bar. Fuck, yes, I miss it, but you're so much more important." His hand shoved through those haphazard blond spikes. "If you'd died, I'd have died right fucking with you."

My brain still couldn't wrap around it. I mean, I knew he'd worried, but still... "But I'm right here." I frowned, waved a hand. "See? Alive."

"Yeah, but you almost weren't." I stalled at that, but I guess he didn't see because he started pacing, hands moving. Drilling his point home. "I sat in that hospital for three days, watching you fade in and out. Knocked out clean, God knows how you managed to avoid a fucking concussion. Going out of my mind because it happened in my bar, my bar and I didn't stop it in time."

My heart thundered in my ears, and a huge chunk of me was calling myself nine kinds of a jackass. I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "Shit, Derek. I didn't even think of that." Made perfect fucking sense. Put in his shoes, with him the one recovering, I'd be a mess,too.

"Of course you didn't. Because I'm a selfish fuck, right?"

I jerked my hands away from my face only to have my glare shut down by the tired look in his eyes. I sighed, dropping my hands and bowing my head. My hair spilled forward and created a curtain, blocking me from him. The silence that fell between us was tense but fragile, like a glass sculpture with a crushing weight hanging above it.

What could I say to that? I'd all but accused him of it, hadn't I? My stomach twisted around that jagged bit of truth.

Holy shit, I was such a dumbass.
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