This is something I've been pondering while working on a new book and I'd love some opinions. As long as a character is 18, are you okay with reading about him in sexual situations? Or is that still too young? What's your threshold? 18? 19? 20? Older?
And does it change when the story is historical rather than contemporary? Is having a 17-year-old hero okay in a historical depending on the mores of the time period? Does the age of the other half of the pair come into play? Say, two 19-year-olds is okay, but a 19-year-old with a 30-year-old makes you uncomfortable?
Does the plot matter? Would a BDSM story with an 18-year-old be off-putting while a sweet, traditional romance be fine?
Or does age not matter at all as long as it's a compelling, well-written romance?
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6 comments:
I find the whole magical age of 18 weird. 18 is not the age of consent in most places in the world, except the world of porn it seems. In Canada it was 14 until a couple of years ago, no, I don't want to read about a 14 year old and a 25 year old (gross) but I have no problem reading about a 17 year old and someone close in age, or two 16 year olds and I've read a YA where a 16 and 17 year old had sex. That's real life people. Kids have sex with their peers all the time. (Although as the mother of a teen I now have my fingers in my ears going lalalalalalala.)
So I don't really get the whole artifice of 18. If I think about it, a 30 year old and an 18 year old kind of seems squicky but if it's written properly it could work very well, I just think great pains has to be taken to make sure it doesn't come across as exploitive (assuming we're talking romance). So for me, age is a very arbitrary thing and I have no hard and fast dos and don'ts.
For the most part, I agree with Tam. I don't have a problem with the idea of people under the age of 18 having sex with their peers...on the other hand, I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of *eroticizing* it. I think, for me, that's the point at which I'd start to worry about a work feeling exploitative.
Fade to black is fine, but I get kind of itchy at the idea that an author is encouraging me to be aroused by a child's sexual experiences. Does that make sense? I know that 18 isn't the age of consent everywhere, but at least for me it seems like a good cut-off point for when I'm comfortable fantasizing about someone's sex life.
Over the age of 18, have at it. With Anah, I've written an 18/19-year-old falling in love with a man in his late 40s. As long as we (writers in general) pay attention to the characters and show *why* the relationship works and why it isn't an older person pressuring a younger person into something they're not ready for, I think the romance can be wonderful.
I think people assume 18 is safe, which lets be honest what's the big difference between an 16 and 18 year old? Other than they can apparently vote and hold a gun (in America).
It depends on the genre you write, but who said there HAS to be visual sex scenes. I'm comfortable from 16 onwards if you wanted to write them having sex. Then again, I'm not interested in reading an 18 year old getting together with someone whose twenty-years older than them. It creeps me out on a personal level. Then again, I'm not a fan of huge age gaps between characters.
In all honesty it ALL matters. A well-written romance does not start and end with a good plot or solid prose. It's about the characters, the emotion and in some cases the reality. Age is relevant in a story, just the way world-building is. It all has to fit and connect. Each aspect is important. That's what a well-written story is. To dismiss one aspect, due to having a good plot for example, does not eventually make it a good story.
At the end of the day, reading is subjective. I truly believe if the author is passionate about their subject matter and has done their research then you can only hope for the best. As with everything some people will love, like, dislike or hate your book.
I'm struggling with this questin right now, although it's more of the age gap rather than the under-eighteen issue.
It's the way the story hit my head, this age difference, and I'm tweaking it to get it somewhere between the way it hit me and what I think readers will be comfortable with.
Thanks to all for the very interesting comments!
Tam, I agree about the weirdness of 18 being the magical age when someone is suddenly an adult. Quite arbitrary. But that said, I very, very likely wouldn't want to see a romance between a 14-year-old and a 30-year-old. However, I have no problem reading about sex between older teens.
Fade to black is fine, but I get kind of itchy at the idea that an author is encouraging me to be aroused by a child's sexual experiences.
Dianne, that's an interesting point. Although to me, a 17-year-old is not a child in the way a 14-year-old is. Still, 18 is a handy cut-off point. There are so many factors involved -- who the characters are, their experiences, etc.
As long as we (writers in general) pay attention to the characters and show *why* the relationship works and why it isn't an older person pressuring a younger person into something they're not ready for, I think the romance can be wonderful.
Completely agreed! I've read some wonderful romances with age gaps.
It depends on the genre you write, but who said there HAS to be visual sex scenes.
Good point, Anon. Although I know that for me personally, if I'm reading an adult romance, I expect sex scenes. With YA it's a different story, and fade to black is much more expected.
Each aspect is important. That's what a well-written story is. To dismiss one aspect, due to having a good plot for example, does not eventually make it a good story.
Completely agree. And you're very right in that reading is very subjective. You can't please everyone. As you said, you personally aren't keen on age gaps, whereas some readers are -- or don't find them to be an issue. Everyone's mileage varies wildly, and it's very interesting to hear the differing opinions.
K.A., interesting that you're dealing with the same issue. I'm working on a new book, and while the under-18 isn't an issue because I just legally wouldn't go there unless it was YA (and nor would the publisher, I'm sure!), there is an age gap, and I'm wondering if my one character is too young at 18. I don't want to squick anyone out, but I also want to stay true to the character.
Thanks again to all for the discussion and hope to hear some more opinions. :)
I think authors have the fun job of having a happy medium. The one where they don't compromise their artistic vision and the one where they don't alienate their readership.
I don't believe there is anything wrong, with trying to make it both work. I like that authors truly try to get some insight on issues like this, it means you're researching your readership which is a great thing to do.
I'm glad my comment was of some use. I have to say I may not venture out to read May/December stories, but I have read my fair share, and most often than not, the author has done a good job for me personally.
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