Thursday, March 25, 2010

7 Signs that Spongebob is Gay

Okay, I know some folks might be thinkin' "Myc's takin' this Spongebob obsession a bit too far," but hear me out!

Now, I love me some SB. All right, so that's not really a news flash. However, as an observant SB fan(atic), I have noticed some glaring signs that everyone's favorite (okay, MY favorite) porous kitchen utensil (as Plankton put it once) is, indeed, 'family'.


1) He has a snail pet. (In Bikini Bottom, snails are cats; worms are dogs. Yes, I do have a life. Why do you ask?)

2) He once said 'I like Squidward' when Patrick pointed out that he said 'Bye, Squidward' twice.

3) He freaked out at the notion of girls seeing him naked.

4) He and his best friend Patrick Star share a VERY close relationship.

5) When Mr. Krabs once told him he looks like a girl (while trying to recover a hat), Spongebob replied: "Am I a pretty girl?"

6) The only 'date' he's been on (without Patrick) was with a Krabby patty.

7) He and Patrick raised a baby clam. Together.

So, you see? It's clear as crystal: Spongebob, my idol among all idols, is queer as a football bat. Is it any wonder why I love him???


Anonymous said...

You've lost it. Again.


Liz said...

Heh. I'm not so sure I ever HAD it. ;)

Kiernan Kelly said...

Can I live in your head, just for one day?

Liz said...

ROFL! Funny... I tend to say the same thing about you, Kiernan. :P

Maurya said... all made sense to me and explained the fishnet stockings that a certain starfish wore in the movie.

*waggles eyebrows*

Dana Marie Bell said...

I seem to recall another instance of Patrick in drag. Blonde wig, working at the Krusty Krab, being hit on by Mr. Krabs. Ring a bell? ;D

Tam said...

Have you seen the Spongebob and Patrick porn? It was ... interesting. LOL But I do think you could be right on this one.

Beth Wylde said...

All my kids love Spongebob and the clam episode where SP plays the mom is one of my twin's favorites, He's way gay. Or maybe bi. He could swing both ways. Oh I'm having all sorts of thoughts now. I'll never be able to watch the cartoon with the kids again. LMAO ^_^

Anonymous said...

I have been saying that for years. Now that you made your list I am starting to notice a few of those signs in my son.

Lee Plumb said...

Don't say this too loudly or some preacher in white buck shoes will denounce Spongebob from the pulpit.

Karin said...

I've known a lot of people who've said SB is gay, but nobody else has laid it out quite like you.


Brandi Evans said...

And then there's always
pic, lol... ;-)

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